


Just a Crush

by CeliaEquus



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: BAMF Phil Coulson, Capsicoul - Freeform, Eavesdropping, Get Together, M/M, Phil doesn't need a paperclip, Pining, Tony is being helpful, Unrequited crush isn't unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 04:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliaEquus/pseuds/CeliaEquus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Most of the time, it was so easy to hate Tony Stark; and this was one of those times.  He had cornered Phil after a post-mission debriefing, courting danger as though he still saw Phil as a ‘suit’, not one of SHIELD’s top agents.  He sped through the niceties in one breath before getting to the point.  It wasn’t a relief.<br/>“So what’re you going to do about your feelings for Captain Stars-and-Stripes?” Tony asked, leaning against the wall.  Phil never rolled his eyes; top SHIELD agents did not roll their eyes.<br/>“I don’t need a taser to incapacitate you, Stark, or did you not hear that part of the debriefing?”'</p><p>Sometimes Tony is being helpful.  Phil doesn't always see that.  And Phil doesn't always know when someone is listening in.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or any other Marvel thingummies, nor am I making money from this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Crush

Most of the time, it was so easy to hate Tony Stark; and this was one of those times. He had cornered Phil after a post-mission debriefing, courting danger as though he still saw Phil as a 'suit', not one of SHIELD's top agents. He sped through the niceties in one breath before getting to the point. It wasn't a relief.

"So what're you going to do about your feelings for Captain Stars-and-Stripes?" Tony asked, leaning against the wall. Phil never rolled his eyes; top SHIELD agents did not roll their eyes.

"I don't need a taser to incapacitate you, Stark, or did you not hear that part of the debriefing?"

"You're just interested in one kind of debriefing, aren't you? And I bet those briefs are as starched as their owner. I could ask JARVIS to find out for you."

"The day I finish you, Tony Stark, you will not see it coming, and no court of law will convict me."

"C'mon, Agent. We all know you're in love with Cap."

Phil did allow himself the luxury of raising a single eyebrow. "Oh, really, Mr. Stark? How did you come to this conclusion?"

"You're not denying it!"

"I am not in love with Captain Rogers."

"But you're in love with Captain America, am I right?"

"No. I have no romantic feelings for Captain America. He is a symbol, an identity. He is not the man."

"Aha! So you have romantic feelings for Steve, then." Tony smirked.

"Still failing to see how you came by such a ridiculous notion."

"Okay, it's not just me." Tony ticked off on his fingers. "Pepper knows, because Pepper knows everything. She said something about how your eyes light up whenever his name is mentioned, especially when you're talking about him. Myself? I can't see the difference between your facial expressions. God, even when you were fighting before, you didn't look any different. Just with more blood on your suit."

"Which I would like to remove, so if this conversation has come to an end…"

"Are you propositioning me, Agent? `Cause I know who you'd rather do a striptease for—"

"I have no problem whatsoever adding your blood to my clothes," Phil said. His hands fought to stop from curling into fists. Tony stopped smiling.

"Seriously, it's not just Pepper. Natasha and Clint both know the signs of you having feelings, even minor ones, for someone, and they said you've never had it as bad as this before. Again, I don't see any difference, but I don't know you as well as they do. Also, Hill and Sitwell were gossiping about it while Clint was in the ceiling vents, and he passed it on to Bruce, who passed it on to me."

"You make it sound like a sexually transmitted disease."

Tony burst out laughing. "Good one, Agent. Speaking of, don't forget to use protection." He nodded. Phil was trying to keep a handle on his growing anger.

"Do you remember what happened earlier today?" he asked instead. "Let me remind you, Stark. First, the six of you somehow got kidnapped and rendered immobile, so that even the Hulk couldn't escape, let alone Thor or St— Captain Rogers." Tony went to interrupt, smiling gleefully, but Phil ploughed on. "Due to the chaos caused elsewhere, the only bodies available to rescue you were junior agents, who completely bungled the operation. I had to intervene, despite the fact that I'm still supposed to be restricted to desk work during my recovery. Single-handedly, I had to rescue the surviving junior agents, then enter the building and release the six of you. And do you remember what you said, Mr. Stark?"

"Uh…"

"You said 'So you had a paperclip handy?'. To which I replied 'What makes you think I can't kill a man with my bare hands?'. Do you remember that, Mr. Stark?" Tony nodded. "Good. So you will understand that I want to go back to my room and clean up after this unprecedented early return to field work."

"Sure," Tony said, stepping out of the way, even though it was unnecessary. Phil began to walk past, when the billionaire continued. "You may not believe it, Agent Coulson, but we do just want you to be happy. You'd be happy being with the one you love, right?"

"Mr. Stark, I'll say it again, I am not in love with Captain Rogers."

Steve, who'd been hiding around the corner since the start of the discussion, felt his heart sink for the umpteenth time. He swallowed, once again trying to will himself away from this poisonous conversation; but he couldn't move his feet. Even his traitorous hands, one resting on the wall and one curled around the bend, wouldn't shift.

"Really?" Tony said. "Because we all think you are."

Phil sighed. "It isn't love. It's… it's just a crush. A strong one, but that's it."

"That's what you're calling it nowadays?"

"Don't make me write it on the walls with your blood, Stark."

"No, I'm serious. This is more than just a crush."

"It's a crush. It's only love if it's mutual. One-sided, it's a crush. There's no such thing as unrequited love."

"Huh."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean, Mr. Stark?"

"Nothing. See you later, Agent." Tony turned to leave. "See ya, Cap."

Phil tensed. Tony was just needling him as usual. That's what this whole conversation was about after all, wasn't it? Captain Rogers wasn't behind him. No. That feeling of not being alone was just Stark the whole time, and maybe Clint was in the vents. There was no way the captain was…

"So you do love me?"

He wasn't that lucky. Phil arranged his face to something (hopefully) resembling his usual bland expression, and did a brisk about-face. He certainly did not gulp, not even a little bit, when he realised how close the captain was.

"Captain Rogers," he said. "Please ignore… just forget…" Steve didn't look disgusted; he seemed to be smiling. "You weren't meant to hear that," he added, trying not to sound desperate. He definitely failed this time.

"It's love," Steve said firmly.

"No, I swear, it's just…"

"Well, what do you call a mutual crush?"

"I… what?"

"That's kind of my way of saying that I have feelings for you, too, Agent Coulson."

"…Oh. Okay."

"So do you retract your statement, sir?"

"About…?"

"Not loving me."

"Yes. Yes, definitely! I retract it."

"Great," Steve said brightly, and he held out his arm. "Let me escort you back to your room. Then dinner tonight?"

"Dinner? Uh, barring catastrophe, that'd be good."

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gods I keep writing Capsicoul will someone stop me please I can’t stop myself from doing it and I’m such a bad person somebody ban me from encouraging the plotbunnies! [End of run-on sentence]  
> Love isn’t quite this simple, I imagine. I’m in love with Sherlock Holmes, and I’ve had crushes on other fictional characters before, so I know just how complicated it can be. This is just a little scene incorporating the idea of Phil not believing his feelings to be that serious since they can’t possibly be returned, and a scene where someone asks how he defeated someone without even a paperclip. Of course Phil can defeat the bad guys with just his two hands. Or just one hand. Or maybe no hands! Someone needs to write a fic about that. Not me. I suck at action scenes.  
> Okay. Fine. I’ve actually worked that into a story idea for a prompt on the Avengers Kink Meme. Smeg. What is my life? Also, how do I submit stuff to the Kink Meme? Gotta have another look at the site; but I still find it confusing at times. I’ve filled another Capsicoul prompt, and needs must post it there. Somehow.


End file.
